everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can I color on your dick again?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
