Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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