so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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