You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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