Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
