That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
