Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
