Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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