she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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