My room smells like vodka and shame
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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