Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
