If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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