We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Houston, we have a blender
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize