Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i believe in u and ur pee
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