Whod you bang
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize