Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
