After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
