i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
