Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
