Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
