If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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