how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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