You're my little dorito
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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