Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize