definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
