only if we run a train.
done.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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