Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
