How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
