DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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