Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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