The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
