R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
