i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize