ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
