Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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