She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
