I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
