Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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