i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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