FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
