worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
