I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
