If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
