ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
