some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
