My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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