watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
