Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
