Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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