the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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