he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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