i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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