I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
