His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
