I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
