wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
