Got a toothbrush?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
