Can i not drive my cunt home
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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