She's JV to your varsity
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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