We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
