with your own penis?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
